[Joke] HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC.


2. Name it "Boss"

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feeling better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

REMEMBER ME IN YOUR VALUABLE PRAYER

[joke] Advantages Of Breast Milk

The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed, "Give four advantages of breast milk." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best.

1. No need to boil.

2. Cats can't steal it.

3. Available whenever necessary.

So far so good -- maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer.

4. Available in attractive containers.

Special High Intensity Training

To: All Employees
From: The Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

---

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We are trying to give employees more SHIT than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.

Employees who don't take their SHIT will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (DEEP SHIT). Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (EAT SHIT). Since our managers took SHIT before they were promoted, they don't have to do SHIT anymore, and are all full of SHIT already.

If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULL SHIT). Those who are full of BULL SHIT will get the SHIT jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (DIP SHIT).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training (HOT SHIT).
Thank you,
---------------------------------
Boss in General
Special High Intensity Training
BIG SHIT)